Reviews

I was at this “place” and i went to get a soda but they were out of stock and the over weight manager or whatever was casuing so many earthquakes i cousnt pay Attention to the movie. He also beat up the guy next to me for no reason and then beat up a guy who was smokin. He then closed the “place” so we had to get Escorted out. If i could rate this a 0, i would

I heard a new theater was opening and went to check it out on behalf of the city and realized it was the same place where multiple attacks were reported. but the ginger owner was nice and the prices were fair so i ignored the violent reports until the movie started and the owner barged in and began attacking multiple viewers. i got a stomachache after eating the chips and went to the bathroom only to see an unconscious body in the stall. also when i was heading out i saw the snack shelves were half gone and the owner seemed to be enjoying his tenth bag of chips on the counter while yelling at the receptionist named issac. Overall it began as a wonderful experience but ended in disaster. will be consulting the attoreneys for this.

I came to the simpleton cinema for a great viewing experience to the new movie that just came out. Things started off good, the concessions, the workers, it was good until this absolute MASS of a man came and stood in front of me. I COULDNT SEE THE MOVIE!!! MOVVVVVEEEEE!!!!! The popcorn was good though

It stung but made the movie ten times better when i got to watch it with one eye i was able to focus much better.

I was sitting in the theater watching the movie when the person in front of me started smoking (or vaping). I was going to say something when the owner came in and kicked the person out. He was yelling and beat the person unconscious. I paid to watch a fictional movie and got real action at the same time. This is the only place where the owner will kick the simpleton out of you. w owner!

After the mistake i made from the gooblagoon i Learned that this isnt just a mistake like the owner says it user error but when i enter people ignore me and now im sad

I was in the Middle of a movie at this amazing theater when someone in front of me started smoking! I sent a Complaint about it and not even a minute later like a heard of elephants came in the owner and knocked the lights out of the lady! 10/10 would come again! Btw they must of added a speed bump through the movie cause i hit it hard

THIS PLACE IS THE WORST ROOTIN’ TOOTIN’ CINEMA I EVER BEEN TOO!

i went to simpleton cinema for a good tme, then the ground starts shaking i thought oh no it must be an earth shaking but it was just the onwer walking by i was so scared but he was very nice, anyway good food, disgusting movie, and isacc gave me drugs…they were pretty good…

The owner is amazing and i love the food and movie options!

The owner caught me vaping in the bathromm and I got punched and beat by him and his kitty next to him. Next thing i know i wake up in the hospital and was diagnosed with dookieitis. never go to simpleton Cinema unless you hate yourself. Thanks a lot caseoh(You also Doxxed my address).

I went to watch the new movie “Frozen Revenge” as i have been so Excited To watch it, but as I was Watching the movie the person next to me was smoking and the stunningly handsome skinny muscular redHead Owner came up to me saying he’d make a example outta me and he beat me Unconscious but he had great popcorn and the movie was great so i’ll Definitely be coming back!!

I run an unnamed business Across the street from Simpleton cinema, and i have phone video footage of Caseoh, the owner, TOSSING A HUMAN BODY ON THE ROOF!!!! But wait, that’s not even the craziest part – before the flinging, he threw that same body underneath a passing vehicle. 10/10 popcorn tho.

So i got a full time job here right? But the owner doesnt let me take a break, and you only pays me 15 dollars an hour! And when i try to smoke on the job he beats me with a bat! Anyway im selling drugs on the side now

My buddy Kade’s GF, Regina, went to Simpleton Cinema the other day to watch a movie. However, she was starting to have an asthma attack mid-movie, and the owner, a fat ginger man, thought the inhaler she was using was a vape, so she brutally attacked her until she died. To make matters worse, he dragged her body around throughout the movie theatre and out in the street. he threw her in front of two cars, and the second car ran her over. kade now has to work a second job aside from his job at the goob lagoon to help cover the expenses of the funeral. his gF’s family is suing without a doubt, and this time, even all the money the fat man can make in Clover Pit will not be enough to pay for his crimes. He has to go to prison. He’s a menace to society. #JUSTICEFORREGINA #JUSTICEFORKADESGF

my favorite movies played here and i loved how clean the place was

W CINEMA. W oWNER HE IS A LARGE MAN

As a former employee of the gooblagoon, I was not very optimistic about the same owner opening a new establishment, due to past traumas, but I am delighted to say that I had a fantastic time here at the simpleton cinema. the service was fast(not as fast as me working tickets at gooblagoon but still), he let us choose our own seats, and he was even patient when I didn’t have exact change. I am very happy to say the owner is turning a new leaf.

After my last review I contactI contacted the simpleton cinema legal team ever since then I feel like I’m being watched by someone The movies are still good the employees are still great my best friend‘s girlfriend is still missing. I’m still suing for 50k

Email 2 of many

because i knew the employees they let me come in for free and got free food and a free movie, also isacc gave me drugs for FREE! Man i love isacc…

when I first came I thought this place was a stupid, messy, and hostile place. but when I walked in, my full opinion changed. the staff was amazing, the concessions were totally not over priced whatsoever, and the whole area (ok tbh it was just one corner) was amazingly clean!

After getting sold outrageously priced tickets and food, my wife used her inhaler when she got scared in the movie, resulting in her being kicked out, brutally assaulted in the nearby parking lot, and then killed, her dead body flung on the roof so he could use the excuse that she fell out of an airplane. He had soda though, so 5 stars.

I wanted to go to the movies on this nice friday evening, but before I could purchase my tickets, the owner PUNCHED me! I will be watching my movie at home instead while i rest with an ice pack.

I loved the part where a large man walked into the cinema and starting beating up a random guy in the audience, thank you for a great show

when i was at the simpleton cinema getting some popcorn a dude fell through the roof, THE ROOF!!! im suing this place for child endangerment. he almost fell on my kid, oh and did i mention i got lung cancer from a dude smoking in the theater room 1. thanks for the worst experience of my life..

After visiting the goob lagoon over the summer, our family needed something to do during these chilly fall weekends.

Visiting simpleton cinema was the place to be! The food was great, the movies were fun, and it was the perfect entertainment we were looking for. Thank you caseOh!!

bro i was in the bathroom and there was cocaiina in the tiles? i saw someone named isacc do it? i don’t really know but there was also a knocked out body in the bathroom. the movie was good tho 😃

THIS WAS THE BEST EXPERIANCE OF ME LIFE WOULD COM BACK AGAIN YIPPEE

Eww dookie smell, dead man in bathroom too.

i was walking on the sidewalk before the theater even opened i was assaulted by a fat ginger i woke up in bathroom stall bruised and bleeding i walked out of the and saw the fattie freaking out while selling tickets i grabbed a bag of chips and snuck out when i opened the chip bag the chips were covered in white powder i got addicted and kept going back to the theater for the snacks i was later diagnosed with a brain eating Amoeba that over the next year will turn me into a simpleton at the same time my best friend Commander jonathan #777 had his girlfriend go missing at the theater The Employees are awesome and the movies are aight i will shut this place down no matter what god damn you CaseOh

This was so good. I’ve never felt happier here! I came to simpleton cinema with my daughter. We went there to watch gabby’s dollhouse and my daughter loved it. It was a fantastic experience. I’m giving this place 4 stars because when i went to the bathroom, i saw a passed put body in the restroom cubical. It was traumatising. Other than that, i would Recommend simpleton cinema!

The place is very clean. Too clean actually. Also issac smelled my seat when i left.

I was escorted out the simplema (for reasons that shall remain unknown) and thought the owner would casually kick me out, when that guy had the audacity to chuck me across the whole street, Purposefully let me get run over by cars, squashed me into a rubbish bin, and that isn’t even the worst part, the owner then flung me onto the roof of the simpleton cinema and said that i fell out of a plane… I am currently hospitalized, half my body is paralyzed and 90% of my bones are broken.

I visited with my Brother Jeffrey and we where schocked! The staff where so kind! Isaac greeted us warmly and so did Caseoh! He even gave me 5 extra cents! He put me in the best seat ever! Thank you simpleton cinema! You have the best quality of films i have ever seen!

I thought I was gonna have a great time at the Simpleton Cinema, but When I went to order some popcorn, it was way overpriced as well as stale, and they put absolutely no butter on it. and as soon as I went to sit down to watch the movie, which was also so lame. this large man with ginger beard came in and started beating the life out of the person next to me. Safe to say I was absolutely traumatized and I will not be coming back.

First off, I want to clear my record and say that the gunshot heard at the 7:00 showing of Frozen Revenge was due to the amazing sound quality of this theater and that it was definitely from the Movie. Anyway as I was watching this amazing movie this large ginger man stood in front of me and started clapping (couldn’t tell if it came from his hands or cheeks). But that was the only upsetting thing that happened besides a body in the bathroom stall. I understand the body, someone had to take care of business. I had a lovely time and I took care of my own business while I was there

i was Promised a kitttyyyuhhh on my lap for my movie…. was not provided kittyyyuhhh ….. 0/10 recommend but will be coming back

I came to say that your Theater, Simpleton’s Cinema is brilliant! Heck, It’s almost as good as My own cinema “The Auraplex”, maybe even better! You are the goa, and remember; Share your secrets with NOBODY!

Best Regards, Waldo S. Peterman (CEO of Aura Entertainment)

I came to the simpleton Theater with my little girl, sarah (8 y/o). when buying tickets, we were Separated and put on Opposite sides of the theater. As the movie starts, I see that there’s an open seat next to sarah, so I took it. a woman Next to me started vaping, and Luckily, the owner asked her to leave but as they were leaving the theater, the owner started fighting the girl, and she fell dead. he then took the body and dragged it out of the room. as i was leaving the theater after the movie, the same lady who got knocked out by the owner fell through the ceiling. I would’ve reported this to the police, but the movie, popcorn, and employee at the concession stand were so nice that I didn’t. 5 stars.

During my visit to simpleton cinema i went up to the front and paid for my cheap ticket. The best thing that happened to me was coming across caseoh with his glorious six pack and deliver karma to somebody who was really annoying and deserved it. The movie was also really good there. 10/10 would reccomend it. non-paid reviewer!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CASEOH SHOW MY REVIEW ON STREAM ILL DONATE. IF a CASEOH FAN IS SEEING THIS TELL MY BOY CASE TO READ THIS COMMENT W CASE.

After the successful Goob Lagoon, we now have the simpleton cinema, i am sure that this will be a success as the last Enterprise caseoh made.

it was alright i was watching a movie and the person behind me was vaping and then i got picked up and thrown on top of the roof with some other person that i dont think was alive but the movie and snacks were good 🙂

Simpleton Cinema is an absolute delight! From the moment I walked in, I was impressed by the cozy atmosphere and friendly staff who clearly care about creating a great movie-going experience. The seats were super comfortable, the sound and picture quality were top-notch, and the popcorn was perfectly fresh (a rare find these days!).

What really sets this place apart is the attention to detail — everything feels thoughtfully done, from the clean facilities to the affordable ticket prices. It’s got that perfect mix of modern comfort and small-town charm.

Whether you’re catching the latest blockbuster or a classic film, Simpleton Cinema is the perfect spot to sit back, relax, and truly enjoy the show. Highly recommend to anyone looking for a great night out!

I think the popcorn was rancid, I got really sick during the movie and ran to the bathroom where i found an Unconscious lady laying in the stall.

I will never go back!

She went to the movies and never came home after months on end.. i am a commander in the Military and going to have the place shut down.. Still think you guys have the best popcorn..

My first time at the theatre and i watched the owner take a hot, steamy dookie in his hands, clap, and smear it all over someone who was smoking during the screening. The only thing that could make up for the view would be some hotdogs but they aint got none

So yesterday I went to watch Frozen Revenge. Everything started great, Isaac, the employee, deserves a raise. Fast service, super polite, total legend.

But as soon as I sat down and the movie started, chaos entered the chat. This massive guy walks in, I swear the floor shook like a mini earthquake. Everyone went silent. Then, out of nowhere, he goes straight to the woman sitting next to me, starts yelling, and drags her out. I tried to ignore it and focus on the movie (you know, classic “not my problem” energy), but he came back. This time, he started going after random people, first an old lady, then a guy, then another one. At this point, it felt less like a movie theater and more like a WWE arena. Turns out, this was the owner. Yeah… the owner. He was apparently on a mission to drag half the audience out for reasons unknown.

When I finally decided to leave, he came for me too. I tried to get away, but he was huge and the floor was shaking again. I tripped, hurt my leg, and next thing I know, he’s dragging me outside like I’m part of the movie credits.

Luckily, I had some leftover food in my pocket. I tossed it as a distraction, and it actually worked, he went after the food, and I ran for my life.

So yeah, 10/10 for Isaac, 0/10 for the Hulk impersonator running the place.

Will I ever forget this experience? Nope.

Will I ever come back? Also nope.

Before the I even got in the theater I was punched, by a ginger man.

Then the chips and popcorn were stale but the movie was good.

Some fat man punched me in the face on the sidewalk, for no absolute reason. I found out the guy that hit me owns this company, so i will DEFINITELY be messaging my lawyers. See you in court soon.